Nashvillemom's Weblog

You Need Your Sleep

nashvillemom — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 19:18:28 +0000

There’s only one way to really do a good job with your family and you know that’s true. You can run around all day, with good intentions, making your lists and sticking post its everywhere and packing sandwiches and cleaning clothes but at the end of the day the only thing you really need to make it all come together …. comes down to … SLEEP.

When I was in my 20s I laughed that off. ”Early to Bed, Early to Rise” was for nerds. They weren’t having any fun and I WAS. I stayed out until all hours having a blast with friends. I went to bed late and woke up late, stumbled for the coffee pot and eventually found my way to work.

I’m a late bloomer. Didn’t get married until I was 30. Didn’t have my first baby until I was 32. I have four now and one’s 16. You do the math. All through the transition from fun single girl to fun working mom I tried to hold onto the fun but kept on losing sleep.

Still working and still chasing four children and still wanting to be fun to be around doesn’t add up to much if I can’t get to bed by 10. Some nights I’ll climb out of bed to leave a reminder note for myself on the kitchen table so it’s the first thing I see in the morning. Then I can get back to sleep.

Here’s the catch 22: When your kids are having struggles (school/sports/friends/you know the drill) it can make me sleepless. We are attached at the hips, mothers are … to their kids. You’ve got to work things out with them before you get to bed.

But nothing can be worked out if you’re tired, cranky, sleepless.

Night, night.

Medicating for ADHD’s a Hoax

nashvillemom — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 19:16:22 +0000

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now … that for years and years and years our world got along without medicating kids for ADHD and then it exploded. I’m starting to think that ADHD is nothing but a FARCE and that children simply are children. In fact, as humans, we are so convinced that there is something wrong with us we are always first to succumb when the finger points in our direction; that is, we fall down easily when we’re blamed. I chatted with a mom this morning about how wrong it is for educators to suggest medication for your spirited child … the child you have NOT forced into a behavior box. This little boy CAN sit still in church. He CAN sit and do his work in school. Is he to blame for the endless churning of worksheets? Who wouldn’t get fidgety with the way our schools are now — especially in elementary school. My friend reminded me that when they took away corporal punishment, the numbers on medications for kids skyrocketed. Good idea for an investigative story. But, really? Have we become sooooo lazy that we can’t even manage our children? We must not box our children in — there is no “right” as far as humans go — there is no ideal to achieve. It’s enough to make me want to quit my job (which I love) and stay home with my little boy so I can be his teacher. I could really serve him and what he needs … it really gets me fired up to think about doing.

Life is a Beach … Or is It?

nashvillemom — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:10:32 +0000

Beach lovers all …

We are watching as I write this. We are tracking the oil. We are thinking about the thousands of animals that have already lost their lives and the selfishness of folks like us who want nothing more than to have their darn perfect beach vacation — even as so many have lost the perfection that was theirs and even as that nasty Deepwater Horizon continues to pump massive amounts of oil into the sea. This is surreal, right? Wrong. It’s real.

For 17 years we’ve headed south to Florida’s Emerald Coast, and this month we’re supposed to go again. But instead of talking excitedly about going, instead of dreaming about crabbing and fishing and swimming and sunbathing at our beach, we’re talking about oil. While over the years we’ve perfected sunscreen and shade, swimming and skimming, sandwiches-on-the-beach, sunsets and wine, and fresh fish dinners cooked up by Dad and Mom in our great black iron skillet and on the Weber grill now …. we watch.

We check the oil tracker daily. There have been “tar chips” and dime-size tarballs. My niece, recently there, confessed that it was hard to get the stuff out of her bathing suit … even as local posts from the region claim there is no oil and the beaches are open “for enjoyment.”

I think if we go we’ll be constantly on the prowl whether consciously or subconsciously … not for crabs and shade … but for signs of oil … tar chips … is that a slick? Forget it.

We do not know if we’re going or not. But if not there … then … where?

Life is no longer our beach … So whose beach is it?

Mom’s Time

nashvillemom — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 12:35:01 +0000

It’s early morning on Saturday and I’m up at 6 a.m. — why?! Why am I not taking advantage of my deep and cozy bed and the chance to snooze in? I need some Mom Time, that’s why. Just me. No noise. No need this, want that. Yesterday we picked up son #2 from a two-week camp in Alabama. We stopped to visit our daughter at her camp along the way, took her to lunch then redelivered her. Today, back home, we have a double-header up in Hermitage with our 7-year-old and then early tomorrow morning I’m driving my 14-year-old to camp in Rolla, Missouri. You bet I need Mom Time.

I don’t like having children away from home, but I know they love going to camp. So I try hard to keep my chin up, but I find myself getting up early, praying more, missing more.

Soon enough my boys will be up and the needs will begin … I’m thinking of making blueberry pancakes with all of these North Carolina blueberries I got at Costco … They love those … and I love them …

For now … It’s nice to hear the chirpings of the morning birds outside my window.

soggy city

nashvillemom — Mon, 03 May 2010 00:50:49 +0000

The images say it all … in Bellevue a mother, her 2-year-old and her husband carrying their what must be a 9-month-old look tired, taxed and like they just want to be warm and fed. Is this Nashville? I love Bellevue. I love Nashville. No one told us there would be a flood of historic proportions … We woke up this morning when the sirens in Brentwood blew … It was about 6:38 a.m. … I know because I waken when a sound erupts foreign to the sound of sleep … I quickly flew to the TV set and clicked it on. Rotation, rotation … not near us … and so I made a pot of coffee. And I sat. While my four babes slept and my husband snored I sat and watched. And then around 7:30 the rotation on the news radar showed a circle in our path. I jumped and leapt up the stairs. ”Everybody up! Let’s go! Everybody up and in the downstairs bathroom!” And then there was thunder on the stairs, good sailors all. We didn’t get hit. We didn’t get flooded. But others did. Roads were submerged. Good friends had homes damaged beyond recompense. And then tonight, sitting watching TV … watching the horses in Bellevue up to their necks in muddy water, ironically belonging to an old friend of mine who loves those horses … her daughters cherish them … and then seeing the mama and her babies and her husband working hard to do the right thing. Tomorrow we will go and see if our magazine is in-tact. But we are far better off than many tonight. Far better off than creatures, men, women and children displaced. The storms of 2010. The flood of historic proportions. Bless them all. And be safe.

I love moms!

nashvillemom — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:20:28 +0000

So I’m working with a bunch of moms helping to facilitate our fifth-grade kids’ talent show and what occurs to me is what has often occurred to me before: Moms in charge are moms on fire! Give a group of moms — passionate about their children’s success — a project and they can do ANYTHING. Get with a group of like-minded mothers, hand them a task that centers around their child’s benefit and the world instantly starts aligning correctly. We can do it, nothing can stop us, we can talk, figure things out, make it happen … and NO RED TAPE. Just a bunch of willing “Doers.” Instantly you find out the specialties of each woman and miraculously all tasks small and large are accommodated …

Makes me wonder as I have wondered thousands of times before: If mothers can work together for a common good … why on earth have we never had a woman president in Washington? Fill the cabinet with mothers! Fill the presidency with a mother!

When there’s too much power given to one MALE person and then all the OTHER MALES start jockeying for position (in addition to the OTHER FEMALES WHO BEHAVE LIKE MALES), nothing will get done but a bunch of strong-arming.

Put a mother in charge and let her work with a bunch of other mothers. Together they will figure it out, make it happen, change the world.

I LOVE MOMS!

SNOW DAY 3

nashvillemom — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 19:08:39 +0000

Saturday morning and I’ve built a fire in the fireplace. Dad and the boys are on a frozen golf course pond playing ice hockey and it’s snowing outside … but then stumbles home my 7-year-old back, frozen, dripping snow … He is crying from the cold … It is my fault. He didn’t have a second pair of socks on. It is my fault. He had on plenty of other layers, though … One hour later he has had Dino oatmeal and orange juice and is snuggled by the fire. Cold weather is nothing to sneeze at. He also has a fever.

Snow Day?!

nashvillemom — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 05:53:40 +0000

We’ve gotten into the swing of our first week back since Christmas and then snow! Or wait, not really … not just yet … just the promise of it! We’re supposed to be getting some white stuff … there’s a 90 percent chance that we will but I’m used to what I call “the Nashville tease” when it comes to snow here. But then, while I was making dinner and reigning supreme amid three kids doing homework diligently at our kitchen table, the phone rang. School will be closed tomorrow the recorded voice on the other end told me. As soon as I got that news I told my kids, “Snow day!” and they were delighted. The “box” of a typical school night fell away and fun walked in the room. But like the rest of the Midstate at this moment, I’m wondering WILL IT REALLY HAPPEN? Will it really snow? And then a sobering thought: Huh-oh. Gloves! Hats! Where is all of our snow gear?!

Merry Christmas

nashvillemom — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 04:03:34 +0000

Just because you’re not talking about it doesn’t mean you’re not thinking about it …

Christmas, 2009. The recession is in full-swing, and yet, we had a merry, merry Christmas. Why? Because we are optimistic. My children, ages 16, 14, 11 and 7 have all been raised to believe that life it good. Life is what you make of it. Life is NOT about giving IN to but rather, ABOUT MAKING. We have made dozens of cookies and wrapped dozens of presents … My family has been blessed with MORE than we need and yet, when you look at all of the THINGS, you realize they are only THINGS afterall. We don’t need THINGS. What we need is each other. Someone to care about whether or not you have on long pants or short. Someone to care whether or not your ears are cleaned. Someone who knows you well enough to know what food you like, what you prefer, what music you like, what tickles your funny bone … It was a Merry Christmas because this remarkable group of kids I am privileged to be at the helm of … make me so happy deep down inside day in and day out … even when I am at my wits’ end they make me happy inside … It is a Merry Christmas to have someone love you. I have four children who love me … I have fours someones who love me unconditionally … No, five, that remarkable man himself. What more do I need?

Because We Need a Little Christmas!

nashvillemom — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:04:11 +0000

Is it me or did Christmas come fast this year? In my neighborhood, people yanked down their autumn wreaths as fast as Thanksgiving was over and up went the lights, festive displays and trees in the windows. Can it be we need a little Christmas right this very minute? I know we do at my house! December first rolls around and my 7-year-old reminded me of it: “Mama! We have to put up the calendar!” he said to me urgently at the dinner table. Forkful of food suspended, I looked at him and smiled. ”You’re right! I almost forgot!” While we’ve not decorated at our house just yet (we have to DO it, Mom, we have to DO it! Thomas insisted) we right then and there marched upstairs to the attic to find the box with the Advent calendar and hung it near the kitchen table, as always. Thomas stood there for about an hour moving little items in and out of their pockets … visions of Christmas dancing in his head. He got me in the mood … Haul out the holly!